Hectic, hectic. That's all I can describe this gong show as.
I basically haven't stopped since the relay. I keep going and going and going. I got to relax a bit at the lake this weekend, but I drove back in a some crazy thundershowers, that kind of put a damper on the relaxation.
Frisbee, I'm busy finding girls that will play and I absolutely dread every game. It's no fun when you're sprinting the whole time because there has to be 3 girls on the field at all times. Luckily we've had 2 subs the last 2 games. That makes it worthwhile and enjoyable, but still doesn't count out the initial dread.
I lost my ruby necklace. The one Ryan gave me for Christmas. I feel awful. I don't lose things, that's very rare. I usually know where everything is. I've checked everywhere, luggage, floor, jewellery box, car etc. It's haunting my dreams. I've had dreams where I remember taking it off in the bathroom or in the car and putting it there. It's interfering with the reality of where it actually is....
Bunnyrat is getting spayed tomorrow. I'm super nervous for her. It was pretty impromptu. One of the guys at work, his wife is studying to become a vet, she wanted to assist on a rabbit spay and let me know there was an opening tomorrow for today. So I took it. I know it has to be done, but I've been putting it off. I just don't want anything to happen to her...
On top of all this, contractors are coming in and out of the house to repair water damage from a year and a half ago. I'm very skeptical of their work, but then it'll be over with. No more harassing the condo association etc. (I have a sneaky suspicion, that if I left the damage the way it was, it'll be less noticeable than the fixed result.
Ryan and I did reorganize the den. I have to admit it's way more spacious in here now. It's still functional and usable, and I now have access to guitars, a drumset and an amp at an arms reach, and still kept a few toys to tinker with. There's still more to be done but it's a good start. The world didn't end, I didn't throw as big of a temper tantrum as I thought I would. It's all good.
Going to the lake this weekend, and then, next weekend I took a long weekend in lieu of Canada day. I find it funny that my good friends had that weekend cleared for a party for my bday anyways, even though I said it wasn't happening. Boy do they know me. Of course it's happening. On a smaller closer scale. It will be awesome and I will turn 27 in happiness with my Ryan, family and friends. Couldn't ask for anything more.
So that's it. Summer is officially here. I'm trying to hold on to my sanity. Next year, one sport, I swear.......
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Humbling Experiences
Work is insane, what else is new?
My schedule is insane, friends, sports, volunteering and trying to keep up with housework. I haven't done laundry in over a month and Bunnyrats nails really need to be trimmed. Next year, I'm only doing 1 sport! I promise myself this, I don't have time for 2, I feel too rushed and run down.
Ryan and I finally decided to "officially" move in together. I know, I know, he's been living at my place for a year now but not alot of his stuff was. We decided to meld everything into my place since it's in such a convenient location, even though his place is 3 times the size but on the edge of town. We can both walk to work at my place and I love the river for biking and running, and downtown for shopping, nevermind sitting at the comfy patio set reading a book overlooking the river. Especially since he's not around on the weekends anyways, I'd be constantly driving downtown weekends and weekdays.
So this whole experience is turning into me dealing with the issue of "mine". My place, my rooms, my furniture. I'm having alot of trouble with it. Each room I've thought out carefully in the first place, and now it's all being turned upside down trying to meld Ryan's things into it.
My Den is the worst in the whole house. It always has been. It's a spare bedroom and a collection of hobbies that I no longer have time for. Yet trying to give up that space for those hobbies is hard! I know I no longer write much, or putz around with my computer equiptment or do crafts. It's all stuff I'd like to do, and I have the space to do it, I just don't have time. Yet trying to get rid of my space to make it 'Our Space', proves to be daunting. I don't want to. Plain and simple. But it's something I have to do if I do want to accept a life with someone.
On top of it all, I realize it's just 'stuff'. I don't like to think of myself as a 'stuff' person, but lets face it, I hold on to 'stuff' like no one's business unless I'm too lazy to move it, then I seem to have no problems getting rid of 'stuff'.
I seem to have issues with contributions too. Let's face this sad sad fact: I've never seriously dated a guy that could soundly support himself financially. There I said it. I feel dirty that that's the truth. Big purchases and decisions, they've always been up to me. Yet Ryan is offering to purchase a flatscreen monitor to get rid of my giant 19" flat screen CRT, which is 75lbs and takes up so much desk space, and I have issues with that. The monitor may look ancient, but it suits my purposes just fine. It was $400 8 years ago, and I don't see the point of replacing it with a nicer bigger one that takes up less space for $200. I'm not sure if it's my inner frugality, even though I'm not the one shelling out for it, or if it's the fact that I won't be making the purchase. Accepting help from others. I need to learn to accept it. I wouldn't even let him by my headphones for me for my iPod when we were out one day, ($16). My reasoning was, if I needed them I would buy them for me. Yes I can take care of myself quite comfortably, I can take care of myself and someone else and a rabbit quite comfortably, but now I'm being offered help. Why can't I accept the help? Why is my brain wired this way?
My schedule is insane, friends, sports, volunteering and trying to keep up with housework. I haven't done laundry in over a month and Bunnyrats nails really need to be trimmed. Next year, I'm only doing 1 sport! I promise myself this, I don't have time for 2, I feel too rushed and run down.
Ryan and I finally decided to "officially" move in together. I know, I know, he's been living at my place for a year now but not alot of his stuff was. We decided to meld everything into my place since it's in such a convenient location, even though his place is 3 times the size but on the edge of town. We can both walk to work at my place and I love the river for biking and running, and downtown for shopping, nevermind sitting at the comfy patio set reading a book overlooking the river. Especially since he's not around on the weekends anyways, I'd be constantly driving downtown weekends and weekdays.
So this whole experience is turning into me dealing with the issue of "mine". My place, my rooms, my furniture. I'm having alot of trouble with it. Each room I've thought out carefully in the first place, and now it's all being turned upside down trying to meld Ryan's things into it.
My Den is the worst in the whole house. It always has been. It's a spare bedroom and a collection of hobbies that I no longer have time for. Yet trying to give up that space for those hobbies is hard! I know I no longer write much, or putz around with my computer equiptment or do crafts. It's all stuff I'd like to do, and I have the space to do it, I just don't have time. Yet trying to get rid of my space to make it 'Our Space', proves to be daunting. I don't want to. Plain and simple. But it's something I have to do if I do want to accept a life with someone.
On top of it all, I realize it's just 'stuff'. I don't like to think of myself as a 'stuff' person, but lets face it, I hold on to 'stuff' like no one's business unless I'm too lazy to move it, then I seem to have no problems getting rid of 'stuff'.
I seem to have issues with contributions too. Let's face this sad sad fact: I've never seriously dated a guy that could soundly support himself financially. There I said it. I feel dirty that that's the truth. Big purchases and decisions, they've always been up to me. Yet Ryan is offering to purchase a flatscreen monitor to get rid of my giant 19" flat screen CRT, which is 75lbs and takes up so much desk space, and I have issues with that. The monitor may look ancient, but it suits my purposes just fine. It was $400 8 years ago, and I don't see the point of replacing it with a nicer bigger one that takes up less space for $200. I'm not sure if it's my inner frugality, even though I'm not the one shelling out for it, or if it's the fact that I won't be making the purchase. Accepting help from others. I need to learn to accept it. I wouldn't even let him by my headphones for me for my iPod when we were out one day, ($16). My reasoning was, if I needed them I would buy them for me. Yes I can take care of myself quite comfortably, I can take care of myself and someone else and a rabbit quite comfortably, but now I'm being offered help. Why can't I accept the help? Why is my brain wired this way?
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