Wow, I totally didn't see this one coming.
Darrell and I broke up. I think. It's complicated. One minute we're having our normal fight about living together, should we, shouldn't we, how, and fears in general. Then the next we're talking about families and kids, and he said that may never be a possibility for him. And I said I couldn't be with someone if that wasn't even a possibility. And I'm kinda solid on that one. That's kinda a deal breaker for me. Then what's the point of dating basically? So in 5 years he truly decides that's not up his alley, and then I'm completely shattered....again....no, never again.
It's so unexpected. Last week I was going though old blog postings and I came across one, from when I was super sad, about what a good relationship was like. And I felt so happy after re-reading it, because I realized that I had all that now. Or so I thought.
This was also kinda the first relationship I've had where the guy hasn't been very forward with life intentions at all. Usually at month 2, or sometimes even date 2, they want to marry me and I freak. But it's still a nice reassuring feeling.
Ugh, I dunno. Toast to a new journey, I suppose? I can't convince someone to think that way about me, and I really shouldn't have to......
1 comment:
So how forward is too forward? I suffer from the same affliction. Its either all or nothing. One freaks me out the other pisses me off.
Happy Valentines Day!
Such a bullshit holiday...I am so the scrooge of Valentines. obligated to do something sweet if you are a couple...obligated to feel miserable if you are hot, delectable and single. Half price chocolate and Ben & Jerry's here I come!
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